In the End

  0

…But if I think, oh, like you think, It don’t make my load much lighter

The time has come for these blogs to come to an end. Writing has been quite therapeutic. …and I’m sure it will continue, but not for public consumption. I have come to the conclusion that there are too many close to what happened who aren’t ready to see what I have to say. …and while I can’t take back what has been written or shared, I can put a stop to what is placed in public for all to see. I can share my thoughts and feelings with those closest to me and spare the feelings of those who aren’t ready.

My life has become something I barely recognize. Some days, I don’t even know who’s looking back at me in the mirror. Nobody who hasn’t gone through this can possibly imagine. …and even then, we’re all different, we all process differently. We all react differently. We all see the world differently. Nobody is right or wrong. …they are simply different.

What hasn’t changed is the way I feel about my Michele. She was the best wife, mom, partner and friend a man could ever ask for. She was always there for me. We always wanted to be together. We always needed each other. …and when the chips were down, we always found a way. …sometimes with the generous help of others and our family, sometimes on our own. …but we always found a way.

She was remarkable, unique and beautiful. I miss her more than anyone can possibly imagine, except for the few of you who will read this who have lost someone you truly love – no, someone you are truly IN LOVE with. …and I pray that none of you ever will.

In the end, if I reached just one person with all I wrote, if I made someone, anyone see their own lives a little different, hopefully someone who still has their love but works too hard, or doesn’t devote the time to the important things, sees from what I wrote that life is short and that you only get one chance at it. …and someone very close to me recently pointed out to me how stupid the phrase ”you only live once” that is so flippantly thrown around is. …and they were absolutely right. You only DIE once. …you LIVE every minute, every hour, every day.

…so make the most of it.

I cry like you cry… it just makes me sadder.

In the End –

Well, I can see what you mean
It just takes me longer
An I can feel what you feel
It just makes you stronger

Well, you can take me for a little while
You can take me, you can make me smile in the end

Well, I can see what you mean
It just takes me longer
An I can feel what you feel
It just makes you stronger

I know, I know, I know
Whoa, the feeling grows
I see, I see, I see
It’s got to be

Well, I can do what you do
You just do it better
I can cry like you cry
It just makes me sadder

Whoa, you can take me for a little while
You can take me, you can make me smile in the end

Well, I can shine like you shine
It don’t make me brighter
But if I think, oh, like you think
It don’t make my load much lighter

I can see what you mean
It just takes me longer
An I can feel what you feel
It just makes me stronger

100_3424

This entry was posted in Family Life, Grieving, Marriage, Spiritual Growth. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

3 Comments

  1. candy
    Posted 12/14/2012 at 6:31 PM at 6:31 PM | Permalink

    Scott, I know right where you’re coming from. I’m sure you have close friends & family telling you how awful you are because you are building relationships with others. Or how long you “should” wait before moving forward, etc. Follow your heart. Getting off FB is probably wise for you as those mired in sorrow often want to stay there & want to keep you there with them. I fully support you & love you. Do what’s best for Scott, Mia, & Chase. No one else truly matters in this situation :)

  2. Razan
    Posted 12/15/2012 at 1:25 PM at 1:25 PM | Permalink

    I pray your journey will get easier, although Im sure it will never be easy. Thank you for sharing your feelings and life with us. I hope you find it in your heart to return again someday, because your message is so important and you’ve made a difference in my life, and how I live my days. God Bless you and your beautiful babies.

  3. Chris Tunks
    Posted 12/18/2012 at 4:01 PM at 4:01 PM | Permalink

    Scott, thank you SO much for sharing the beginning of your journey with all of us. I have really enjoyed reading this blog. I have laughed and cried, and have been blessed to be invited into some of yours and Michele’s thoughts and intimate moments. I obviously cannot understand what you are going through, or what Chase and Mia are going through, but I know that you will ALL be okay. Wherever life leads you from here, you will always have my support. You will not receive judgment from me regarding anything you do as I have never walked in the shoes that you have been forced to put on every morning. I love you and thank you again for sharing your thoughts and feelings here.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>