love of a lifetime…

  1

I met my husband on February 22, 1997…from that day on, we literally were only a part from one another for a few days at the most. He became my best friend, my lover, my everything. We had a family together and were blessed beyond measure. He was diagnosed with stomach cancer on July 7th of 2010 . The absolute worst day of my life. Or so I thought. My husband had literally only been sick 3 days that I knew him…3!!! He NEVER took a day off of work and he was the best father and husband you could ask for. Jody had been feeling gassy and burping a very strange odorous smell. I insisted he go to the doctor but that took a lot of coaxing. When he finally agreed to go if I went, ( we had his and hers colonoscopies) I was told my results were in and he needed to be with me. I dreaded the worst and made him stay home. Sadly they did not tell me it was because he was the one with the stage 4 stomach cancer. I got to be the one to go home and tell him the news that day. The time flew by, he had surgery removing 80% of his stomach, he went through chemo and radiation, he went back to work full time by September. He was 100%. At least for a moment. During all this time I thought that God was giving us a second chance on life, on love. The little things we would get uptight about seemed so silly. The time alone meant more. We enjoyed everything life had to offer us and were thankful for that time. Sadly, it was short lived. In March he began feeling as if he couldn’t swallow very well. We went to the doctors immediately because we were not going to wait this time. Tests showed nothing but scarring due to radiation. It became harder and harder for him to eat and then when we tried to convince the doctors that he couldn’t even swallow water, to please explore more, we were told he did in fact have cancer again. It had spread throughout his body. This time there would be no treatments. There would only be making plans. It was so cruel to me, but I learned to give myself to him in a completely different way. I sat up with him the next 40 days at the hospital and we talked and talked. He told me of his wishes, we made plans for our children. He held me in his hospital bed and comforted me many of those nights. He was the husband God intended up to the very last moment. He always looked out for me and shielded me from any pain if he could help it. The last few hours of his life he kept his eyes closed and we were unsure if he was still ”with us”, but as I bent over and whispered in his ear, Please Jody, look into my eyes once more, he opened them at that moment and I knew he could both hear and see me. That was the biggest blessing I received that day. He said he loved me with his eyes and tried muttering the words, but I knew, I felt it in every fiber of my being. He knew we were all there and he waited. Our little boy was going home and my oldest daughter who is in the Army along with her husband, were taking him home and as I said goodbye to them in the corridor, the nurses came to get me. He was taking his last breaths and I knew this was his way. He did not want us to see him leave, knew it would be too painful since I had lost my mom a few months before. He was being Jody. Always looking out for me. So unselfish. My beloved. We lost him July 18th, 40 days after checking in, and in that short time, the nurses and complete staff rallied around our entire family. A year and half later, I still talk with them, almost daily. They grew to love him as much as we did. He was an incredible man, loved by all. Missed by all.
He taught me many lessons and I am till learning each day to make this journey we call life on my own. I have friends and family, but no one can replace the man I had in my life for so many years. He was like no other. I am healing and hoping to help others that have lost loved ones as well. It is an everyday struggle and some days are worse than others. It is expected. It’s ok to laugh. I remember feeling guilty for laughing out loud for the first time. It gets easier and I’m thankful for forums like this to be able to talk to others and be there in a way some just don’t understand. They mean well, but they just don’t ”get it”. I’m thankful for those of you that do.
God Bless and keep on keeping on…
Cancer Sux

Laura

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3 Comments

  1. Scott Jamison
    Posted 10/17/2012 at 4:21 AM at 4:21 AM | Permalink

    I’m also thankful for those who “get it”. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Razan
    Posted 10/25/2012 at 1:22 AM at 1:22 AM | Permalink

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story with us…I will be praying for your strength to continue, and for my strength to one day be like yours.

  3. Posted 11/30/2012 at 8:48 PM at 8:48 PM | Permalink

    I so appreciate your story and for sharing. What a beautiful love story you have.

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