To Stacey- Prayer Request for 10-5


This morning I had no intentions of writing, but I thought, well, I’ll check out the prayer requests. Stacey- your prayer just hit me like a ton of bricks.

My heart breaks for marriages across our country. In the summer of last year, some dear friends of mine announced they were separating and soon after, divorced. Their outward struggles encouraged me to look inward. I discovered that my own marriage was damaged. No marriage is free from difficulties! We all have them! I was holding on to past mistakes, hurtful words, disappointment… Luckily, God brought healing through multiple sources.

My husband and I decided that before it got to the place of separation and pulling apart, we would seek wise counsel. We both knew that we never wanted to leave each other. Our vows meant something. We were going to fight back against the invisible war. We first sought God’s counsel. Then, we sought wisdom with others we trusted. Proverbs 15:22 ”Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”

My father-in-law gave us a book called, ”Bait of Satan” by John Bevere. What powerful advise at a time when I needed it most. My pride was hit hard after reading this book. Sometimes, we need to hear what we don’t want to! The book pointed me to 1 Peter 4:12-13, ”Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trials which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you, but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings; that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy.”

I recently made a chalkboard wall in my kitchen. I often
write scriptures on it that I need to read and let resonate. This verse has been up since May of this year. I can’t bring myself to erase it. Below the scripture, I’ve written, ”Pride defends. Humility agrees.” Also from the book, ”Pride causes you to view yourself as a victim. Your attitude becomes, ”I was mistreated and misjudged; therefore, I am justified in my behavior.” Because you believe you are innocent and falsely accused, you hold back forgiveness.” THAT WAS ME! I kept focusing on everything my husband was doing instead of simply focusing on me.

While reading this book, we also met with our pastor. What a humbling experience that was! After four session with him, we gained the perspective needed to move forward. Not only have we moved on, we have grown closer to one another and closer to the Lord. I’ve found a new love for my husband. The very things that were getting under my skin before are what makes him, him! I’m embracing him and seeing now that God has given us our differences to make us stronger. We celebrated ten years of marriage this last summer, and I give God all the praise.

When I read your prayer request, I couldn’t help but think… I was there. Right there not too long ago. I pray that your marriage finds peace and knowing God’s promises, it will.

PS- I’ve attached a picture of the verse in my kitchen. I find it interesting that my daughter so happened to almost scratch out pride and underline humility… I don’t think that is coincidental…


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  1. Yolanda
    Posted 04/13/2013 at 2:16 PM at 2:16 PM | Permalink

    My husband and I are at the place of separation in our marriage if God doesn’t intervene. We have been married for 18 years and he was a pastor for the first 14 years. Approaching 40, He began seeking a career in acting that replaced ministry and more times than not family also. He says if he was forced to choose, he would choose acting over our marriage and family. The acting consists of holding, kissing, romantic dialogue, and his willingness to go under the sheets to be famous. This behavior is opposite of what our family was built on. There are late nights of acting parties where I’m not invited and he comes home as late as 2am smelling of alcohol and Facebook flirting for “networking”. I have also read “the Bait of Satan” and am applying it. My husband says I need to change the way I look at it and join him. My convictions have not allowed me to do that. Are these things ok in acting or is it a loophole for glorified adultery?

  2. Audrey
    Posted 06/20/2013 at 1:06 PM at 1:06 PM | Permalink

    Yolanda, thank you for reaching out. I’m so grateful that you are fighting for your marriage. I’m not a professional counselor and can’t begin to tell you that I have been in your shoes. Please do not blame yourself. This is a battle not of flesh and blood. Your marriage is going through spiritual attack. I highly recommend professional counseling if you have not already considered this. There is no such thing as glorified adultery. It is or it isn’t. Adultery is a black and white issue that should not be dealt with in the gray.

    Take a look at Proverbs 7. Isn’t this scripture so representative of worldly desires? The adulteress in this story could be so many other evils. It depicts a life chasing after emotions of the here and now and immediate gratification. “She is loud and defiant, her feet never stay at home…she lurks.” (Vs 11) She says, “let’s enjoy ourselves with love…” Love of this world, not of Him. Then verse 23 “little knowing it will cost him his life…” “Do not let your hearts turn to her ways or stray into her paths.” Wow! What I read from this is that there are multiple ways she will guide you…and LOVE is one of them. Obviously not the love of our Creator but the love of this world.

    Please know that my response to you is based on the post you sent. I know there are multiple angles to your story and what is going on in your lives. I also just received your response yesterday. I would have responded sooner had I known you posted. I pray that you both are still working to find resolution. Believe it or not, these scriptures came to me on April 7th of this year. I went back in my journal to find that God had revealed this me. I believe it is for you.

    My best advice is to seek wise counsel. “First seek the counsel of The Lord” together. 1 Kings 22:5. Then Proverbs 15:22, “plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisors they succeed.”

    I pray for you and your husband. Please keep in touch.

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