Gabe: “Ok, Brody its bedtime”.

Brody: “Ok, Daddy”.

Gabe: “Lets go”.

We begin our walk with our normal routine of stopping at the family picture hanging on the wall next to the hallway leading to Brody’s room. Brody kisses Mommy. I stay for a second longer…

Gabe: “Say I love you Mommy”.

Brody: “I love you Mommy”.

Gabe: “One more kiss”.

We finish our way to Brody’s bed. I tuck him in and lay down.

Brody likes to cuddle like most 2 year olds, so I abide. Thoughts of Lindsay enter my mind all the time and last night was no different.

Every once in a while Brody will twirl my hair or rub my back and it usually only lasts for a minute. Last night I was hoping he would twirl the back of my hair because while it is relaxing for him, it is probably even more relaxing to me.

I turned over and had my back to him and kept saying in my head “please Lindsay make him twirl my hair”. I kept hoping and repeating that, but after a couple minutes he turned over and was ready to shut his eyes to go to sleep.

Gabe: “Mommy loves you”.

Brody: “Yeah”.

Gabe: “Daddy loves you”.

Brody: “Yeah”.

Gabe: “God loves you”.

Brody: “Yeah”.

Gabe: “Sweet dreams”.

I returned to my empty living room lit by the glow of the Christmas Tree lights, fire, and TV.

I eventually found my way to bed.

This morning I was in a state of half asleep / half awake.

Brody usually crawls in bed with me sometime in the morning and this morning was no different.

I was laying on my side and all of the sudden I started to wake a little more.

Not saying anything, Brody was twirling the hair on the back of my head.

Of course he has no idea what is going on in my head.

I fully wake up, roll over and tell him to give me a hug. He still has not said a word when…

Gabe: “I love you”.

Brody: “Mommy’s in Heaven with God”.

GRACE

Gabe