I often wonder at the moment someone passes away what they experience. Maybe for each source of death it is different or maybe whether you drown or pass away in your sleep, it is exactly the same. The moment your soul leaves your body and those few milli-seconds before are all the same. The exact same!

November 13 is a day I will relive every single day of my life. I was asked to do this. I replay touches, looks, conversations, food choices, fears, screams, tears, phone calls but mostly the accident. Those very few moments are forever etched in my brain, and replayed daily as a reminder of my loss.

We were in the right lane of a one-way two lane access road. There was a dark colored truck just ahead of us in the left lane. Just as we were passing this pick-up, I remember seeing a cream Mercury failing to stop at a stop sign coming from our left. I can still see Scott jerking the wheel to the right.

At this moment, my entire existence s. l. o. w. e. d. to a pace that is not of this world. I wish you could hear me say those words out loud because I am talking slow! Do you know how in movies, producers will exaggerate the stillness of an accident to create drama and suspense? Well. This. Actually. Happens.

The (slow) motion of my body being painlessly tousled inside of our 4-Runner is a sensation that I can still feel today. However, what triumphs over all, is my thoughts and how completely “still” I was. I vividly remember thinking, “mmm, so this is how we are all going to die,” but not with one ounce or one milli-second of fear, nor anxiety, nor uneasiness, nor nervousness. I wasn’t thinking about anything except God, Scott and Presley in complete peace. His peace. There is no doubt, he sent His peace down to wrap us up right then! I imagine “it” as the most magnificently beautiful angel. She is elaborate and beaming with light. Her large, white wings swoosh with movement. She is the angel of peace and we got to experience her and all of her glory for a few short seconds.

I have to compare my experience to what Scott experienced. Never has God left his side his entire life, and the moment Scott needed Him most, there is no way He would have left him. There is no way God would let him experience trauma, pain, anxiety, or fear in the last few moments of life while transitioning into paradise. In that moment, Scott had the entire amount of serenity and tranquility. I have to believe, Scott was as calm as I was if not more, like an ocean with no waves, not one ripple. Even Presley was perfectly still.

Maybe this is what He meant when He said “Be still and know that I am God!”

In His Grip.

Lindsey