Circumstances, which are often outside of our control, dictate our actions. I didn’t choose this. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want this. Why would someone, two people, a family have to face this set of circumstances? Why would we be asked to shoulder this load? Why would people who always put a huge effort into taking care of each other and loving each other in a way that few couples ever get to understand be ripped apart? Why would my children be asked to face a future without their mother? How or why could this have possibly happened? How do we find ourselves in these circumstances?

I find myself dealing with circumstances that I never imagined or even considered. I’m a single father of two children, who demanded an awful lot of both Michele and I – now that I’m the only person they can go to, I face yet another circumstance that I never imagined I’d be faced with. I put the kids together and then live my evening. Watching TV. Getting chores done. Dealing with a set of circumstances that I once feared.

I find myself dealing with parts of our home life that I never even had to consider. Dinner. Laundry. Making sure childcare is lined up and figured out each day. It certainly gives me a whole new understanding and appreciation for what Michele and other mom’s, working or not, have on their plate.

…and in the shadow of all of these new added responsibilities and challenges, are new friendships and relationships, and the joys that come with them.

I had a difficult night – and I wasn’t alone. …but after sleeping for a whopping 1.5 hours, I woke up to a great parent/teacher conference (she’s brilliant, in case you didn’t know), went to the cemetery to visit Michele and pray. …and almost immediately there after received a letter from a dear comrade that was warm, caring and full of understanding and love.

…and then I had a visit from an angel. It was only for about 10 minutes but it was absolutely the best part of my day.

I find myself in circumstances I never imagined. …but here I am, living them none the less. Here I am facing circumstances out side of my control and as a result, having life experiences I would have never otherwise had. …many are difficult and painful. …but some are wonderful and full of warmth and comfort and happiness and joy. …and it is those moments that keep you going, keep you believing that you can get on, and be happy, and FULL of joy once again.

We all live within a set of circumstances, many out of our control. It isn’t the hand that fate deals you, but rather how you play the hand that matters.

Circumstances

A boy alone, so far from home
Endless rooftops from my window
I felt the gloom of empty rooms
On rainy afternoons
Sometimes in confusion
I felt so lost and disillusioned
Innocence gave me confidence
To go up against reality

All the same we take our chances
Laughed at by time
Tricked by circumstances
Plus ca change
Plus c’est la meme chose
The more that things change
The more they stay the same

Now I’ve gained some understanding
Of the only world that we see
Things that I once dreamed of
Have become reality
These walls that still surround me
Still contain the same old me
Just one more who’s searching for
A world that ought to be