… hearing this daily from others.

… sleeping in his bed every night.

… setting his alarm to wake you up.

… taking a shower in his shower every morning.

… getting dressed in his closet.

… doing his laundry for the last time.

… eating his Oreos and drinking his Dr. Peppers.

… driving his truck on the road of the accident.

… getting home to an empty house every single day.

… walking by his empty lazy boy and neck pillow at night.

… raising an 18 month old by yourself.

… seeing things she does or looks she makes that are just like her daddy and not being able to share them with him.

… not having her dad to celebrate all her milestones with.

… tucking her into bed and reading her bedtime stories, while staring at a picture of him.

… cooking for just yourself, when before you had a cheerleader who loved and got excited about every meal.

… using his cell phone as your own.

… reading old texts and emails, which always included an “I love you!”

… hearing his voice on your answering machine when someone calls.

… how anyone is expected to endure this much pain.

… having a perfect life come to an end in a matter of seconds.

… seeing him on the highway bleeding out clearly not on this Earth.

… holding a screaming child who is yelling for her daddy. “dada, cott, dada, cott”

… calling our parents and telling them the tragedy.

… the power of prayer.

… waiting in a hospital room feeling totally helpless.

… having a doctor come in and telling you “he didn’t make it.”

… laying on his lifeless body with so much internal pain you think you might die.

… losing a spouse, a best friend, a lover, a father to your child and unborn children, your breadwinner, your high school sweet heart, your therapist, your “go-to” person, your spiritual leader, your financial consultant, your Mr. Fix it and Do it!

… the stresses of death on you and what consumes your brain daily.

… being expected to keep living when part of your heart has passed away.

… the day you will see him again.

… his first hour in paradise.

… seeing Christ’s face for the first time.

… eternal life.

I. Can’t. Imagine. It. Either.