When my husband and I decided we were ready to grow our family, we wanted to surprise our families with the news of a child. Instead, month after month, the recurring disappointment of a negative pregnancy test slowly began to dissolve all the excitement we shared when we started out.

Something else was slowly chipping away at my soul, working its way in, subtly and unnoticed. I couldn’t see it then, but over time, I began to realize that it was a slow and purposeful attack on my heart.

Satan is real. I have witnessed people give him far more credit than he is due, but make no mistake: if you believe in Jesus Christ, then you have a very real and present enemy who will stop at nothing in his attempt to steal, kill, and destroy. Don’t assume that he won’t kick you while you’re down, because that is exactly what he’ll do.

John 8:44 says, “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” His first attack was on Eve in the garden. He didn’t lash out a harsh, ugly, obvious lie that she recognized immediately. Instead, he delivered a smooth accusation through a simple little question: “Did God really say that?” (Genesis 3:1)

And he’s been doing the same thing ever since.

Sadly, I bought into many of the lies whispered to me by the enemy of my soul, accepting them as truth. Infertility is such a lonely journey, and because it involves intimate issues, it is so difficult to talk about. I think because it is generally an issue that remains a silent one, the enemy often thinks he has an advantage. In our case, we did not share details of what we were going through with too many people. It was a very isolated walk along a very uncertain path.

But what I learned along that path, as Jesus took us both by the hand, is that we have a weapon for cutting down the lies whispered to us in our weakest moments. Each of us is equipped with “the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Ephesians 6:17)

I want to share some of the lies that I listened to and accepted. They may not be the same lies you are hearing if you are walking this same path, but know this: for every lie our enemy speaks, God truth prevails. I encourage you to seek His Word and allow His truth to be the sword with which you cut down each and every lie.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32 NIV

LIE: You are defective and worthless. God must have made a mistake when He created you.

TRUTH: I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14 NIV
[The king] delights in your beauty. Psalm 45:11 NLT

LIE: You are being punished.

TRUTH: Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. James 1:2-4 NIV

In some cases, God does use trials to get our attention. In my case, He used my infertility as a way to draw me closer to Him, and get me to lay down some of the things I was holding too tightly. He wanted to occupy the number one slot in my heart. If you are unsure whether there is anything hindering your relationship with God, just ask Him. If there is disobedience, He will respond quickly. But many times, the storms of life are allowed by God to test our faith, to strengthen our relationship with Him, and to develop our character as He calls us to His specific purpose.

LIE: Unless you have a child, your husband will not want you, and you will end up all alone.

TRUTH: [God] will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV

I had no idea how strong a hold on my heart I had allowed this lie to take. Infertility hurls an immense amount of stress at a marriage. Because it affects men and women differently, it is easy to lose that unity that is so sacred. One thing I’ve found to be true through my journey is that Satan loves to attack relationships. It was the essence of his first attack. He went after Eve’s relationship with God by causing her to doubt Him.

LIE: God is too busy to hear your prayer. He doesn’t really care.

TRUTH: The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Psalm 37:23 NLT

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8 NLT

LIE: You will never be complete until you have children.

TRUTH: [You are] made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself. Ephesians 1:23 NLT

LIE: This is too big. God can’t reach you here.

TRUTH: Nothing is impossible with God. Luke 1:37 NLT

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20 NLT