When Lindsay and I first started planning our life together as if we were the ones calling the shots, we I decided we were going to have a big family. I wanted to have at least 3 kids and maybe even 4. I always thought we would grow old together with a lot of grandchildren that would come and visit… A very simple concept when you think you are in control.

Drawn by Gabe in 1999, Note "In 50 Years" by Lindsay

All the ground work was laid out, we fell in love, we graduated high school, we graduated college, we got married, we found our first home and in July of 2008 we found out we were having our first child. Brody Journey Lewis entered this world on March 16th, 2009 and we were on our way to our “perfect life.”

Mommy and Brody

8 months and a new home later we found out Lindsay was pregnant with our second child. Once again we were on our way to our “perfect life.” But wait, what is this? How can this be? This was not part of the dream… Lindsay miscarried in the first month of her pregnancy. We were upset, but we knew things would be OK and we would try again.

1 month later God showed us how powerful he is and Lindsay was pregnant with our 3rd child. We were pretty cautious with excitement and waited until seeing the doctor to tell anyone this time. After some anxious weeks we went to the doctor and everything looked great. Our little one was growing on schedule and now we started to get excited about the sex of the baby. In my “perfect life” it would be a boy and Lindsay was just excited about a healthy baby.

At about 18 weeks on Lindsay’s birthday we went to the doctor and as a gift from the doctor, she did a sonogram to find out the sex of the baby. It’s a boy! We were both very excited and it was a great birthday gift to find out about our new blessing.

Months later on Monday, October 25th, 2010 Lindsay woke up with pain in her abdomen. She fought the pain for a while and it seemed to come and go, but painful nonetheless.

Lindsay would tell you herself that she had “easy breezy” pregnancies. She was blessed that way. Whether it was just her tolerating more than most or she was just given the gift of less complications, she had good pregnancies. She was great at it. I felt like she was brilliant at being pregnant if that is politically correct. She was beautiful, she was gracious, she was excitable, she was just great.

On that Monday she kept trying to get in touch with the doctor while she was having these pains, but in true Lindsay form, she still went to work and had little complaints. I was working from home, so I was here if needed. She called me from work and asked if we could run to get a few things for the baby to come. “Of course” I said yes and we went to Babies R Us. She was still having pains, but we still had not heard from the doctor. Late afternoon we finally heard from the doctor office and she was given two options. 1) Go home, rest and begin counting between the pains or 2) Go to the hospital and get checked out. We chose option #1.

We get home and her pains contractions began getting closer and closer. We went from 12 minutes, to 7 minutes, to 5 minutes and by the time we got in the car and we were on our way, she was at 2-3 minutes. Not a whole lot of time, so my idea of stopping at Chick-fil-A on the way so I could get something in my stomach was out of the question. We head straight to the hospital.

This child was due November 5th and due to the fact that Brody Journey Lewis was born nearly 2 weeks late, we were not 100% prepared for the situation. Brody was a 15 hour labor project and so this was a new experience.

All I could think about was I really wanted a November baby in my “perfect life” and secretly wanted him to come on our anniversary 11/11. I have always had a thing about October which I think stems from Halloween, but again, this was my “perfect life”.

We get to the hospital, get checked in, Lindsay is checked out and she is having STRONG contractions about 2 minutes apart, so they admit her, give her the Epidural, some Pitocin to speed up the process and she is dilated to 3 cm. Wow, we are having a baby and I am still hungry! I start thinking about my “perfect life” and quickly realize that my November baby is now an October baby and the excitement sets in.

Lindsay is very close to her mom and wants her to be up to date on what is happening, however with the overzealousness of Brody’s 15 hour labor, I was hesitant to begin calling family. Well Lindsay overruled and Darcy (Mom) was notified and shortly on her way. This was between 6p and 7p.

We are in the hospital, family arrives, sister shows up with a healthy plate of food so I could eat, Lindsay is looking beautiful and doing great, out of pain and just glowing with the anticipation of the sweet little boy that would enter our “perfect life”.

The doctor came in around 10p to check in and said to get some sleep so we settled in for the long hall. Around 12a the nurse comes in to check Lindsay and… oops we are ready! 10 minutes of “practice pushing” and God presented Lindsay and I with our newest blessing. Cash Allen Lewis was born at 12:10a on October 26th, 2010. He was beautiful, weighing 7lbs, 7oz we were so excited to welcome him to our “perfect life”.

Mommy and Cash

We love you Cash. You are such a blessing to us and I thank God you are in our lives. Mommy loves you so much. She told me all the time that she felt so blessed to have two amazing little boys. You truly are a blessing to a “perfect life”. I hope you see the life God gave you as a blessing as I do. I promise to do my best at raising you the way that would be pleasing in God’s eyes. You are such a special boy, as is your brother and I love more than anything to see the two of you at work. You are so much the same, yet so different. You have so much of your mother in you and I promise to explain in detail what that means one day. You are beautiful.

Fast forward just short of 11 months later and our “perfect life” is shattered. Cash’s mommy is gone. She lives with the Lord now. But wait, what is this? How can this be? This was not part of the dream.