About a year ago I met someone that was just another grieving child of God. She too lost her spouse too soon. She too was left here to take care of their small child who had their parent snatched from them far too soon.

Lindsay and I use to talk about how thankful we were that we would never have to date again. With internet dating, social media, the fast pace of life, it just seemed overwhelming. We were so thankful that we had each other and that we were just innocent little kids when we were making a decision to continue taking “future” steps with each other.

It was all too easy. We just lived…

There was no real pain or sense of loss.

We didn’t care about hope, because we didn’t know the difference in hope lost.

We made every decision so easily, because nothing could go wrong.

We both had strong faith in our Lord and that He would always be there to provide for us.

We had each other to comfort the other.

We had our innocence.

Tonight I sit here in a quiet house. The house that was filled with laughter, love, and life. That house is now packed up in little boxes.

Now I can look at this in two ways…

These are little boxes of shattered dreams and hope lost…

Or little boxes of unrealized dreams and a hope for something greater than anyone of those dreams I could have imagined for myself and my precious little boys.

I am moving toward the latter.

I am moving closer to the place my heart has been for the good part of this year.

When I use to just enjoy and live…

I now hurt and in turn appreciate the living a little more.

I am lucky to have had the amount of grace that God has poured down on me since losing Lindsay Alice Lewis.

Every time I am forced to let go of another part of my life with Lindsay, that grace breaths for me.

When there is no one here to give me a hug, that grace squeezes me.

When I feel like giving up, I look up and I know there is something that will not give up on me.

I take this next step, not because I asked for any of this, but because I accept it.

In that acceptance, I find one of the biggest hearts I have ever come in contact with…

Along with the most preciously, humbling, little girl you will ever meet…

So, boys…

Here we go, the bags are packed…

You are my little pieces of wonderful…

I love you more than you will ever know…

How about we go enjoy life with a few more hugs…

A few more kisses…

And a whole lotta love.

Gabe