So here we are, the closing of our special day. Something I hope to write about one day. It was perfect… for us! We were now married! We sent the doves into flight and got into the car and headed to Dallas to make our exit from the country! Gabe and I were sharing stories about our day- us getting ready, the ceremony, who we saw and hugged, what we did, how nervous or excited we were, the reception, what the evening and next several days would involve, emotions were everywhere for those couple of hours. But mostly, we were happy!

Then we saw a stack of cards that our guests had given us and decided to read through them on our drive. It was so fun and sweet to see all the well wishes and the wonderful things people wanted to share with us. As I am filing them away this week, I am grateful for the love. You all have shared so much love with and for us. Love is an even bigger word than I ever thought it was. I got or could understand the simplicity form of love. Little did I know how deep and wide and vast LOVE actually is! It’s humbling to be a part of THAT kind of love that HE created for me and us! I am not saying I even get the fullness of His intent in love, but what I do see and what I am learning about love keeps me literally breathless. I look forward to knowing the full amount in heaven one day!

So back to the story, there we are reading our cards and we come across one from someone who is very special to me.

Scott and I were her youth leaders and she was a gem! She had a radiance about her and you knew she was exceptional in every area of her life! Scott would always say how beautiful she is- inside and out! We loved her! Just today while leaving the church parking lot, Gabe says, ”She is beautiful!” I couldn’t agree more! I also found out this morning, she is leaving this fall to get her masters in Kansas. Upon hearing this news, I went to ”congratulate” her but really all that came out was tears! Tears are definitely a form of love!

While driving to our honeymoon that day, we came upon a red envelope and inside was a letter Rachel Smith (many of you know her) had written to us. I opened it up and read it aloud. Soon after beginning the letter, tears started flowing down my cheeks. As I kept reading, I began to sob! I barely could get the words out! Have I told you lately, how thankful I am for a husband who understands ”it” and gets ”me!” There we are ready to enjoy each other for the next ten days, going to our honeymoon (Bora Bora), the most magical place on the planet and I have make-up running all over my face and snot coming out of my nose! HA!

I wanted to share with you her words and her take on what has happened the past couple of years. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

Dear Lindsey and Gabe, 18 January 2014

Congratulations! Your marriage is a truly beautiful thing, and I am so honored to have been a part of it. Thank you for letting me play! I don’t quite know how to express all my feelings about how happy I am that this day has happened, so I thought I’d tell you through a few stories. Gabe, I’m sorry these stories for the most part pertain to Lindsey since I know her better, but I want you to be a part of them too. Lindsey, I don’t want to bring these stories up, especially on your wedding day, but trust me, they serve a purpose that has to do with today. Here it goes.
If there’s anything I’ve realized in college, it’s that God reveals Himself to us in crazy ways, both good and bad. I’ve also realized that one way or another He gives us the desires of our hearts, provided they further His kingdom. Much of this realization came through Scott’s death, and much came from college in general. In 2009, when you and Scott found out you guys were pregnant, I was a senior in high school. There was a youth meeting one night at church. I don’t remember the date, but it was in September or so. Scott was a youth leader at the time. I remember distinctly him telling me that you were expecting. I was beyond excited because I had been looking forward to that day for a long time. You and Scott were such a power couple that I looked up to and wanted to emulate. Even though I was only 17, I wanted to have a love like you two had, pure and (to me) perfect. So, needless to say, I was happy to hear that Presley was expected. The following Sunday I came up to you to congratulate you. You were flooded with joys and praises and probably don’t remember, but I asked you if you wanted a boy or a girl. Naturally, you didn’t really care because you were just excited, but you said to me that you would like a boy to be the oldest ideally because you loved the big-brother aspect, but it didn’t really matter. There’s the first story.
Fast forward to 2011. Yes, November thirteenth. Every Sunday I said hi to Scott. He would respond with, “Hey Rach!” and give me a big high-five. But not that Sunday. That Sunday I didn’t say hi. It was the only one since who knows when. I remember looking at him standing at the back of the church smiling and lifting Presley up, I think just after the service. I told myself to go say hi, but I didn’t. I don’t know what stopped me, and I don’t know why I remember so very vividly having that internal conversation with myself. Well, now I know why, or maybe I just remember because of what happened. That afternoon I was in the car with Ben and he told me about the accident. I literally said, “Everything’s going to be fine, God wouldn’t do anything to them, they’re Scott and Lindsey.” Of course, I didn’t realize how bad it was. Sorry, again, for bringing all this up, but it’s relevant, I promise. Suffice it to say that from that night until now, I have never stopped thinking about Scott and how much I loved him, although I never told him.
Story number three. You no doubt remember that I went to Scotland the following spring. You might remember that I told you I was living in a series of apartments, two of which were called “Scott” and “Lindsay.” They were right next to each other. Everyday when I walked into town, I walked passed them on my left. Everyday when I came back from town, they were on my right. I had a way to think of you two staring me in the face everyday, and I thought about you both all the time. While I was in Scotland, because you had gotten rid of your facebook, I kept up with your blog. I also read a lot of Gabe’s entries. Yes, Gabe, here’s where you come in.
I learned about you, Gabe, and Lindsay. I learned about your boys. I read and read and felt grief because I had felt it and continued to feel it with Scott. Here’s the eerie part that neither of you will believe, well, maybe you will. That semester, after both Lindsay and Scott passed, I was reading a blog entry and I said to myself, “Lindsey and this Gabe guy need to meet. It would be great if they got together, or even married.” I soon asked God for forgiveness because I thought that because you both had been so deeply in love for so long, you wouldn’t want to love for a long time and that I shouldn’t be wishing for something like that so soon. I let the thought pass…for a while. Every now and then it would crop up again, but I would suppress it.
Like I said, God has crazy ways to reveal himself and fulfill our desires. You may have gleaned what I’m about to say from the stories, but I’ll tell you anyway. The first story had to do with finding out you were pregnant. Lindsey, you said it would be nice to have a boy first. Booyah, wish granted with Brody. The second story was the day of the accident. I think I didn’t say hi to Scott that day because God didn’t want me to be here today knowing I’d said “Goodbye” through a “Hey, Scott,” but knowing that I’d said goodbye by specifically noticing his smile, his lifting up of Presley, and his mere presence. That was my goodbye. I’ve also realized since then, from what I said to Ben, that God doesn’t exclude anyone from His will, not even the power couple of Scott and Lindsey. Instead, more often then not He uses the most unexpected people to carry out His plan. “God wouldn’t do anything to them, they’re Scott and Lindsey” turned out to be reversed. God would do anything to them BECAUSE they are Scott and Lindsey. Yeah, power couple in this case meant God’s Power in a couple. God brought Scott home because he was Scott and you were Lindsey and because Brody and Cash needed a mom and you were it. Same with you, Gabe. Presley needed a dad and you were it. So Lindsay went home. The third story was my trip to Scotland. First of all, how fitting that I happened to choose to go to SCOTland, the semester after his death. It was as if God put that specific country on my mind to help remind me of Scott and help me cherish my life and that opportunity more. I’ll come back to the other thing about the apartment buildings in a second. The last story, my “matchmaking,” now makes me grin. I’m not taking credit that you two came together, that’s purely God’s, but I like to think that I knew it all along. ☺
So, the buildings. This is a crazy God-revealing-Himself-before-we-know-it thing. Well, quite obviously there are two Lindseys/Lindsays involved in this story. One is with God, the other is still here. When Scott died, he gained a Lindsay. When Lindsay died, Gabe gained a Lindsey. Both men in this case, have their Lindsey/Lindsay. The buildings in St. Andrews were spelled “Scott” and “Lindsay.” Undoubtedly for a reason, at least to me. Lindsey, you and Lindsay have simply switched places. Gabe, you get to love this Lindsey, and I like to think that Scott gets to love your Lindsay. It’s quite fitting and very much intentional on the part of God that there are two Lindseys/Lindsays here. He also has a sense of humor, and was probably trying to make it somewhat confusing because, well, He’s God. So I’m not just a fan of this marriage, but I am freaking out because it’s so eerily perfect. You both knew long love, you both loved well, and you both went through loss. A new love has been created through you two, a love that defies the traditional. This love is heaven-sent even more than the last one. To me, Lindsey, you are still part of a power couple, and you always will be. You are both overcomers and conquerors. Death does not defeat us, but instead gives us a more potent, more powerful, more perfect Love. God reigns over you both, and He always will. I pray that He rains Love over you today and forever. May you both be blessed!

Yours affectionately,
Rachel