You Never Did

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Get to tell me you were pregnant…

I remember it so well with Brody…

You took the test and went downstairs to get something to eat. I had to get up to get ready for my trip to Atlanta. While you were downstairs I took a peak at the test and I saw two lines. I was pretty sure it was positive, so I ran to the stairwell and said “What does two lines mean?” You said “Shut up!” I said “Look” and that was it. We were going to welcome our first little blessing from God into this world. We hugged and I think I told you “Everything is going to be great.”

Nine months later we welcomed sweet baby Brody!

I remember it so well with Cash…

You took the test and went to the kitchen to get something to eat. I got excited and jumped out of bed. I looked at the test and again, two lines. I met you half way between the bedroom and the kitchen. Again, you said “Shut up.” We were again so excited. I think I told you “Everything is going to be great.”

I remember it so well…

You were sick and we thought it was mono. We went through the weekend thinking it was suppose to get worse before it got better, because that is what the doctor said. Monday you stayed in bed all day. Tuesday you were in bed when I left for work and I decided to come home just before lunch to check on you. You were so sick, I called the doctor and asked if we should go to the hospital. They said yes, go. So we did.

I picked you up out of bed and carried you out of the house and into the car. We arrive at the hospital and they want to do X-rays. They come in just before you get your X-ray and ask “Do we need to do a pregnancy test?” We looked at each other and at the same time give two different answers. I said “Yes” as you said “No.” Of course we did, what would it hurt?

The X-ray comes back showing double pneumonia. The hospital was a surgical hospital, so they decide to transfer you to a hospital with an ICU. We decide on one not far from the house. You are loaded up in the ambulance for the transfer and I follow you over to the new hospital that will admit you. I watched through the doors as your legs were shaking. I kept trying to tell you to calm down and asked if you were ok. Finally they open the doors and it turns out you just needed to pee. That is just like you and we both had a good laugh.

You get all set up in the isolation room due to your MRSA. They had to take precautions until they could tell it was not active. At that point the nurse told me it would be a good time to go get a bag from home since you were being admitted.

I left the hospital for a little less than an hour to get yours and my things. When I returned the doctor met me at the door and asked me to come look at your X-ray. As we are standing there he informs me you have double pneumonia and you are very sick. All I could think is I was thankful we were now in the hospital so you could get better now. Then the words came out of his mouth…

“We also got the results from the pregnancy test. It came back positive. Your wife is pregnant.”

I walked back to the isolation room to find you on oxygen and everything is now becoming very real. You are sick and I jokingly say “You’re pregnant? This is just like you.” You sort of chuckle underneath the breathing treatment.

At this point, I knew miracle(s) would have to occur in order for everything to be ok. At the same time, I just knew it would all work out. You would get well and we would leave the hospital excited about welcoming our newest little blessing from God. I think I told you “Everything is going to be great.”

After a few days in the hospital they came in to take a sonogram. You were so early on they didn’t see anything. I knew you couldn’t be more than a few weeks pregnant and so they decided to do a numbers test. Your HCG levels came in right around 50. They would do the test a couple days later looking for that number to double.

A couple days later they did another blood test. This time it had gone up to 78, which means it had not doubled, but the stress your body was under it didn’t surprise the doctor.

A couple days later they did another blood test. This time it had gone down to the 40’s. That meant it was not going to be a normal pregnancy and you would just miscarry. At that point, they started treating you like a non-pregnant patient.

A few days later I got this funny feeling. I started to think about the miracle that could happen here. I fully believed you would come home with me, but I also fully believed you would be pregnant and the doctors would be wrong. That would be a miracle that only God could perform.

Friday, the 23rd came around and they said you had an infection attacking the lungs still. They wanted to check to see if maybe you had a tubular pregnancy. I asked why you had not miscarried yet and they said well…

The HCG number had actually gone up. It was over 160!

You were still pregnant. It was a normal pregnancy! I immediately broke down and told the doctor I knew this was going to happen. I told her about the thoughts I had a few days before. I told her I could have told her that you were still pregnant. I could not believe it. The miracle could still happen!

Then…

Just a few hours later, I got the call…

Lindsay, you left this world just exactly perfect and complete. How could you, Lindsay, be complete without being pregnant. The boys could not join you in the hospital, so God made sure you had a baby with you when you left this world.

He made sure you were the “complete” Lindsay.

Everything is great.

Gabe

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